Tuesday, September 30, 2008

F ING RUSSIA... DIATRIBE

F ING RUSSIA

I hate it. Hate it.. Hate it. 51 Countries.. all over the world and never have I been as frustrated as I am in Russia. NEVER!!!
I woke up this morning and decided to give myself almost 4 hours for my international flight. Plenty of time.. figure 1 hour to get to the airport - maybe 1.5 hours with traffic… still plenty of time to pass customs, passport control, and security. WRONG. That would be far too simple. Do you know why? Because I am in Russia.
The Moscow metro is beautiful, efficient, convenient, and goes everywhere. Stalin wanted palices underground and he certainly created them. I walk out of my hotel, say goodbye to Red Square and hop on the Red line. The Red Line for one stop then off and onto to the Grey Line at the Library and then the Gray Line to the Train Station. Catch a 30 minute train to the airport. Piece of cake. WRONG AGAIN. Why? All together now.. because this is Russia.
I arrived at the train station at 11:10. Next train was 12:55. Why do you build an express train to the airport that only comes every 1.5 hours? My flight was at 1:40. So… I grab a cab. As always… I get fucked because I am a foreigner… 3000 Ruples. $120 USD… try again. Ok.. Ok.. 2000 Ruples. 1500 ruples… 1300 Ruples. We finally agree on 1000 Ruples. $40 USD. Moscow is ungodly expensive – maybe even more than London or Tokyo. $40 for breakfast at the hotel. $28 for 24 hours of WIFI. $9 for a Mocha at Starbucks. Sometimes when you travel you expect it…but not like this. My bill at TGI Fridays for 2 cocktails and a beer was $40 USD.
So me and my chain smoking cabbie – he effectively and efficiently finished the whole pack on the way to the airport – jam down the main roads – onto the freeway… Back into the LADA I go. And we are off to the airport… at 11:15. 2.5 hours later… yes… really. 2.5 hours FUCKING LATER… I arrive at the Moscow airport at 1:30. Cab driver drove on the sidewalk, down alleys, through a park on a pedestrian trial… Yeah… I did pay $40 USD but that is the price… this was the time I did not want the scenic route. My flight leaves at 1:40. Traffic was crazy – as always in Russia – the guy had no clue where he was going. We got lost twice… got in a screaming match – he in Russian – me in English. I am sure he did not understand any of my profanity… I cussed him out good though… Nolando style. I felt better… if only for a little bit. I am laughing now… as I edit this.. but I was so angry.

Never the less I miss my flight. No problem.. I have an open ticket… I will just get the next flight. With an around the world ticket I can change dates, and times for free so no big deal. But.. I am in Russia. Moscow international airport… they have to speak English right. Have to!!! And they do.. but they cannot fix my ticket. I am flying Turkish airlines to Istanbul and they tell me to go and see DELTA??? WTF??? DELTA. No.. Delta is not even part of Star Alliance. By now… I am screaming at everyone.. so frustrated!!! They tell me to call United. HOW. I have no fucking cell phone. Ok… maybe WIFI. Yeah.. I will get on the internet. That is simple.. enter a credit card.. and off I go to cyber space. FUCKING WRONG AGAIN!!! In order to use WIFI you have to read Russian. No.. wait…, here is one in English. All I have to do is send an SMS from the cell phone that I don’t have and then they send me back a password. Finally after 2 hours of fighting with Turkish airways I convince the ticket agent to call her manager… She thinks she can help me. Tells me to wait an hour – 2 beers and some scotch later.,. I come back. 30 minutes of entering the exact same thing 20 times....she cannot figure out the computer. And she tells me to go and check in and they will fix it.
Tourism in Russian sucks – If you speak English. The people are nice, they smile, I think they try to help… but we just do not understand each other. The country, landscape, architecture is absolutely beautiful but Russia is not the place to come and see and explore. I have met some wonderful people here (Anna, Olga, Walter, and Vladimir – and I have learned so much about their country, customs, arts..) Russia is actually fun. People drink, party, they are very very intelligent, stylish, and worldly. But…If you get lost… you are fucked. If you need to go somewhere and have a question.. your fucked. But, the Russians would be miserable in the USA if they did not speak English too… so maybe all is the same. After all, I am a guest in their country and during Soviet times, they were not even allowed to learn English.

Maybe I have had 2 really bad experiences.. but nothing is organized, traffic sucks, trains are not convenient to the airport, everything is in Russian and perhaps 10 % of the population speaks English. Most of the younger people do… but I felt like I was lost in translation.. more than once. I do not care where I have to fly to tonight… but if I spend another day in Russia I will drink every drop of VODKA in this country. I swear!!!
Now… 2 hours later I have a ticket to Istanbul. Check in is a breeze – hot custom officer gives me the eye – studies my passport – and I am on my way. Browsing the duty free shops I think about how good that € 99 Johnny Walker Blue would taste.. Maybe grab a few Cubans… puff away…But I pass and settle for a € 9 bottle of Bailey’s that I will sneak onto the plane and drink in the bathroom (seriously… I probably won’t.. but I thought about it). I then head to the Irish Pub – which of course has no Guinness – why? Because we are in Russia. So I settle for some cheap Russian beer – settle in for the latest episode of Scooby Doo – nope… I cannot understand a word.. why? Cause it is in Russian. I smile and giggle like a school girl and people look at me wierd… I know this episode… you know… the one with the ape? And I reminisce about Las Vegas Halloween parties and Napoleon Dynamite. If we go as the cast of Scooby Doo we will own any club. I think to myself… I kind of look like Fred… Betty looks like Welma –jen could totally be Daffny….I I finish my beer – head to Turkish airlines, get patted down, frisked, they go through my bag – smile at the Bailey’s and then have a 5 minute conversation about a some of the tools I brought so I can tighten my braces… finally I am free to go. Now I am sitting next to some super stylish Turkish guy with horrible B.O. and gthere are crying kids all around and everyone is smoking.
Off to Warm weather, the land of Kebabs, Islam, and who knows what else. But you want to know the best part… It is not Russia.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Bailout & Economy

Got out just in time...
Wachovia Bank will fail today and will follow in the footsteps of many others such as Bear Stearns and WAMU. This is really only the beginning of the bottom and we still have a ways to go. Bank of America, JP Morgan Chase, Wells Fargo, and Citigroup will probably be the only one's to survive.

Why am I blogging about finances - especially when i am no longer connected to Wall St? Good question... I am not sure either - but I feel that I have to. I am passionate about the world, about how it works, and unfortunately most everything in the world works through money.

Here I sit at Royal Meridien National Hotel - staring at the spires in Red Square. Watching the street as thousands of faces pass by in front of me. I watch the Mercedes, the Audi, BMW, and Masseratti drive by - I see the designer cloths of Dior, Prada, Zara, and Hugo Boss. The Russians have an amazing life... and many are living what we (as Americans) would call "The American Dream". Russia's new found wealth is the result of the fall of the Soviet Union and the creation of the Russian Federation. Capitalism and a free market are the keys to financial success and increased standards of living the world over. BUT... all of this comes at a cost. The fallacy of money and what money truly is. How it is measured? How is it valued? How is it maintained? And most importantly - how is it transferred from Wall St to Main St?

The answer... Leverage. Nothing in life comes for free... everything has a price. In economics we call this Opportunity Cost. If you want to be in love - you will sacrifice some of your freedom. If you want reap the fruit of financial success you will compromise your time and work long hours. The danger in leverage... there will always come a point in which it is realized, materialized, and collateralized. That point in the US economy is now. And the point is a sharp one and it is going to hurt. And once we get the point... history is certain to repeat itself.

The interesting part about economics is called the invisible hand... which is really the psychology that drives the market. The US goverment, federal reserve, and treasury is attempting to sway the psychology by investing huge amounts of capital into the us economy to stave off a depression or recession. In my opinion, it will not work. Banks, by law, are allowed to leverage themselves at a 10:1 ratio. Meaning that 90 % of everything a bank does is credit - with your money or the money of someone else (usually an overseas investor).

Now.. there is no more money. We have 2 options.. we print more money (which is horrible - because it will cause a huge spike in inflation). We borrow more money (which is how we got into this mess in the first place). We cannot borrow any more money - in the banking world reputation is everything. If you overpromise and underdeliver - you are through. And the US has done just that.

The Bail Out
So... the US government is going to give 700 Billion dollars. We - the US taxpayers will ultimately pay for this and suffer a lower quality of life and much more difficult and restrained credit experience as a result. Moreoever, the bailout will only work for a time.. it is a short term sollution to a very long term problem.

Things that really need to be known
FDIC needs to be bailed out - when banks fail - FDIC is on the hook for deposits
Two large investment banks becoming banks (Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley) means that the people invested there were protected to 500 thousand and now only get 100,000 protection. Also... keep in mind Paulson used to be big boy at Goldman Sachs.. he is saving their reputation... they are in far worse shape than anyone knows.

And the housing debacle... check out these statistics...
20 Billion dollars in default debt in the state of California. Per Month
50 Billion dollars in default debt across the rest of the US. Per month.
Expected default in the us of 1 trillion dollars in the next 2 years.
It is estimated that 10 million + homes have negative equity or are upside down.
This is expected to hit about 12.7 million by next summer.
The state of California accounts for about 40 % of the dollar volume for the enture USA

There are potentially 7 trillion dollars in alt a / questionable loans that are outstanding. The bailout package is for 700 billion. A weeeee bi short.
Most of these loans will not be modified and even those loans that are modified - about 30-40 % eventually end up in default again.

We can throw all of the money in the world at this problem - but in the end - banks will take care of themselves, their assets, and their shareholders. The bailout goes to Wall St - beacuase if Wall St fails... the World fails.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

ST Petersburg - II

Yesterday was actually a great day. I saw almost all of the sights of St Petersburg and it is truly an amazing city. Undeniably beautiful, old, romantic…the city is crisscrossed by several canals – and it is called by some the Venice of the North. No, no gondolas but hoards of tourist boats. The interesting thing – is not much has changed. There are very few new buildings here. The highest building is 5 stories – since nothing can be taller than the old royal palace. No modern hotels or sky scrapers, no intricate glass and steel – just basic concrete block design with some modern interior touches.
Day 3 was the Hermitage Museum.. think the Met in New York or the Louvre in Paris. It was that good and that beautiful. See the posted pics… the artwork and the building in and of itself were amazing.


Some interesting things about St Petersburg..
· You can drink on the street – but not in a park.
· You can park your car on the sidewalk – if you so desire
· Your dog can poop on the street and you do not have to clean it up
· The metro is 17 ruples - just over $.50
· Cabs… you just stick your arm out and random cars stop. You negotiate a price and if you like the car, driver, and price – you go.
· Boys carry the girls handbags – often. This must be a northern European thing… (no word on whether their testicles are inside)
· They receive about 60 days of sun per year – the rest of the time is cloudy or rainy


St Petersburg is a very artsy city. Tons of café’s, bookstores, museums, art, culture, music… the majority of the people are very intelligent. The women are absolutely beautiful – the men… not so cute. If I could only speak Russian I might have some game…
It is interesting because the middle class in Russia is just starting to come to power. There is an immense wealth here due to the natural gas and oil and you see the top of the line Audi, BMW, and Mercedes cars everywhere. I also saw quite a few Hummers.

EXPLODING HEAD

I ask the hotel for a taxi… sure.. No problem. 1300 ruples. I hail one on the street and snag him for 1000 ruples… about $16 less. Go Nolando. Always good at hustling…. Always good at making my flights on time… NOT SO MUCH!
I finally arrive at the St Petersburg airport after a nice scenic 1.5 hour drive from the city center. 20 km away. Traffic here is horrific… think LA at Rush Hour… and then it is that bad but forever. Km after km.. bumper to bumper.. weaving in and out.. in and out and we are making progress. I am in the back reading Alan Greenspan – Ironically learning about the Russian and South American economies. Free Markets and Populist leaders. The taxi stops. Driver tells me something in Russian… gets out – goes to the trunk – dons a glove and grabs a screwdriver… The hood comes up.. a little mechanic work and some strong Russian words – gets the Lada back into shape. Driver gets back into the car, smiles, and off we go again. No clue what that was about… but ok… We laugh and it’s all good.
Only problem… traffic makes me miss my flight. Taxi driver drops me off at Terminal 1. Aeroflot leaves from Terminal 2. Oops. I show him my ticket – in English of course… he says he understands – but obviously not. I walk into terminal 1 with a bad feeling – No Aeroflot signs. No check in…I wander around – asking everyone – no English.. then a British Airways gal tells me I am at the Wrong Airport. No problem.. Terminal 2 is less than 20 minutes away by Taxi. Great.. More $$$. No problem! I hunt my original taxi guy down outside – tell him to take me to terminal 2. Back to the lovely traffic. Wait, wait, wait.. Wait for it!!! I finally arrive at Terminal 2 in 25 minutes. Now less than 30 minutes to catch my flight. I am fucked!
I left about 2.5 hours early… Knowing it will take me at least an hour to go 20 km with all of the traffic. I arrive to the airport and they only speak RUSSIAN. My gate is closed for some reason.. the Aeroflot office is closed… the administrator of the airport… she only speaks Russian… Tourist information. Nope. Not here. Help desk.. yeah right. In Russia? Flight information.. sure… speak Russian? Nope. Big Surprise there! The younger people do speak Russian and quite well. But it has been my experience that it is far and few between.
So I finally find a young Russian girl and she sells me a ticket to Moscow for $150 USD. But to a different airport in Moscow… not my original airport. Always nice to buy a ticket to the same place twice. Well… a different airport so maybe not the same place. I am sure I will have a good story upon my arrival. Especially since I have no clue where I am going. Can I log into the airport WIFI – sure. But the instructions are in Russian.
I am notorious for missing my flights – but I think that I have finally learned my lesson. This sucks and I want to be soooooooooooo mad. But I can’t. I am so angry but I am laughing at myself. I am learning patience – I am learning to deal with difficulty and humility. I would consider myself a very seasoned traveler.. but I have to admit that Russia has been the most difficult country I have traveled in. From getting a visa, to language, to eating, to finding a place to go out… It has been an amazing learning experience – frustrating… yes but also rewarding. You bet. There is a reason for this… I just do not know it yet.

ST PETERSBURG, RUSSIA

St Petersburg, Russia
Day 1… Shitty
I arrived this am – the airport is tiny for such a large city. No one speaks English and everything is in Russian – I am lost. Big time… I finally catch a cab – started at 1800 ruples… talked the guy down to 1000 after about 45 minutes – still probably getting taken advantage of. And off we go – and lovely yellow ford of some type. As we travel down the highway – my first sight some very old Russian automobiles and nuclear power cooling towers - as the steam cools in the cold morning air I get my first taste of St Petersburg driving. Normally there is some type of order when it comes to driving… lanes are nicely separated, lines are painted on the asphalt – some type of respect of give and take. Not so much… In Russia that does not exist. From having a 3 and 4 lane rush to get onto the freeway, taxi drivers barreling down the shoulder, weaving in and out of traffic in a desperate race to reach the city first. As we wait, and wait, and wait some more in bumper to bumper traffic – I look to my right just in time to see people leaping off the sidewalk as a black Range Rover races by… 2 minutes later – a Nissan Maxima follows in its footsteps.
As I arrive in my hostel – I am a little concerned. Very, very bad neighborhood – trash everywhere – and then when I finally get in… signs everywhere not to drink the water… I have to boil it first. Oh… and don’t leave anything of value in your room. I am supposed to use the hostel safe. I am also welcome to use the community shower – think high school locker rooms with no dividers between shower stalls. Internet… yeah right. Don’t even think about it. After receiving my set of 27 year old tattered sheets I head up the four flights of stairs to my star room – with a 3 inch mattress – peeling walls, and probably the nastiest bathrooms I have ever seen. 2 toilets for the entire floor. I accidently peek on some fat hairy foreigner in the shower… oops… I get yelled at in some foreign language and peace out cub scout.. Nolando loads up the backpack with valuables and hits the street. After my leisurely 4 mile walk to civilization I find the tourist office.. nope… No English. So I head to the water – hop on a boat.. . go to some Island… no clue where I am going… what I am doing, etc… They ask me in Russian – I nod… I have a ticket to some place… then after a 30 minute boat ride I watch St. Petersburg disappear in the smog and pollution and arrive at some sanctuary… again… nothing is in English so I have no clue what I am looking at. It is nature – some museum of sleighs… (yeah… like santa drives in the winter) and lots of water features, statues, gardens, etc..…..
After waiting 2 hours for the boat to come back I begin my blog, watching the sun set, the waves lapping at the sides of the boat and my mind wondering about my day – processing…thinking… and searching for meaning.
After my boat ride I return to Saint Petersburg and find a hotel. $300 a night.. but the city is sold out… and right now… all I want is someone who speaks English, a comfy bed, and some food.
I go out for 2 beers…Wednesday night.. town is dead.
Day 2 and 3
Shitty…but not as bad. Only the morning was frustrating. And… that is part of the experience. Went shopping for a power adapter – after being directed from place, to place, to place… I finally found one. Nothing like a little show and tell. I show you the power adapter.. and you tell me if you have one by nodding your head yes or no.
I want to blog a bit about language and communication… Especially being a psychologist – language and communication are very different. Language, I think; is perhaps our most important asset as a human being. Communication, in my viewpoint, implies understanding. Language, of some sort, transcends across all cultures. Unfortunately, understanding (I.e. communication) does not always follow.
Lets give an example. Привет – do you know what that means? Try Hello. Pronounced ‘PreeVYet’ with lots of rolling r’s. I do not even see an ‘r’ in there… but ok. I remember reading a quote somewhere: “ If you can speak three languages you're trilingual. If you can speak two languages you're bilingual. If you can speak only one language you're an American.” How true is this? Russian has never even been offered at any institution of learning that I have attended. Neither has Chinese – yet these nations are both Superpowers. And they are heavily populated with some of the most brilliant people on earth. Why are these languages not offered? Is it a way to keep power in check? Are there economic or government reasons? If you cannot speak the language of another can you truly learn about their experiences? Their culture… their opinions, viewpoints...
If you cannot communicate then you cannot change a viewpoint. Communication is the key to pedagogy and learning. It is how we develop our identity and form stereotypes. Is language the great separator? Maybe even more powerful than money, skin color, race, gender, sex, or class? .Perhaps it communication and understanding that keeps people apart – creates the great divide and holds back competing viewpoints, ideas, and experiences. Language is the most imperfect, confusing, ambiguous, and expensive means yet discovered for communicating thought, feelings in hopes of making some meaning of the world.
There is an amazing little spot on the 5th floor of a shopping mall – called Seven Sky bar. It is very cool, hip, and modern. It is here that I had my first conversation about Russia. Anna is a very beautiful IT consultant for a Trust Bank in St Petersburg. We talked about economics, culture, Russia, USA, and even the conflict in Georgia. I think Media is such an interesting medium. Again.. not language but communication. Most of the media in the Russian Federation is state run and controlled. Even though Russians have great freedoms of speech and the Russian Federation is a democracy the government still has tremendous controls. The story that we in the American media got about Georigia is radically different than the story the Russians got. In essence – Georgia was once a part of USSR. Then with the Russian Federation and fall of the Soviet Union in 1991 – became its own country. There is an area within Georgia – Ostensia which wants to separate from Georgia. There has been conflict with this area and the Georgian government. Keep in mind the Georgian government has thrown million and millions of dollars in lobbying money at Bush. It turns out that Georgia sent its troops this area – there was some fighting and then Russia sent their army to fight the Georgians.
Yesterday was actually a great day. I saw almost all of the sights of St Petersburg and it is truly an amazing city. Undeniably beautiful, old, romantic…the city is crisscrossed by several canals – and it is called by some the Venice of the North. No, no gondolas but hoards of tourist boats. The interesting thing – is not much has changed. There are very few new buildings here. The highest building is 5 stories – since nothing can be taller than the old royal palace. No modern hotels or sky scrapers, no intricate glass and steel – just basic concrete block design with some modern interior touches.
Day 3 was the Hermitage Museum.. think the Met in New York or the Louvre in Paris. It was that good and that beautiful. See the posted pics… the artwork and the building in and of itself were amazing.

RIGA, Latvia

RIGA, LATVIA

A small town - but the largest city in Latvia. The Baltic countries are amazingly beautiful - the Baltics include the countries of Lithuania, Estonia, and Latvia. All of these countries were once part of the USSR before the Berlin Wall fall and the Iron Curtain was lifted. The landscape is amazing – each country has approximately 40 % forest – everything is very green – and there is evidence that autumn has arrived with cold wind, sun and stark temperatures, and colorful leaves. The stylish Europeans are out – scarves, high boots, gloves, and hats… I am envious that I am living out of a small carryon bag with no room for anything except my American t-shirts and 2 pairs of jeans.
The biggest surprise that I have encountered is the tragedies and experiences of the Baltic people. Each country was formerly occupied by Russia and the atrocities, genocide, death, and destruction resulting from Russian occupation leaves a very serious mark. Old soviet style block buildings sit amidst newer sky scrapers. Square, concrete, dark… many in desperate need of repair. In Lithuania and Latvia the architecture rivals that of Prague. Art Noveau is the theme – think old Victorian houses in San Francisco but better. Lion heads, Greek Gods and varying shades of pink, purple, orange, brown, and grey line the streets. Trollies from the 1950’s line the streets and it seems that every town has an old KGB headquarters. Riga was no different – but they had even more… Riga is home to the Museum of occupation - giving a detailed account of what Russia has left behind.
I remember on my first trip to Europe when I visited the old German concentration camp Dachau…. Hundred of thousands of people died here in the furnaces and gas chambers. You enter the camp through the original iron gate that every prisoner and victim of the holocaust passed through… the words “Albiet Mach Frei’ – work will set you free – coldly incscribed in in Iron stare you in the face. As you enter the museum of occupation you are met with a similar feeling. Your stomach coming up through your throat – detailed accounts of people being loaded into train cars… shipped off to work camps and never being seen again. The uniforms worn by the people of Jewish faith… the infamous star… you ticket to death, pain, suffering, and difference. The thing that strikes me most is that these atrocities are not much older than 50 years… Neither are civil rights in the USA. Try that on for size…
Anytime you travel I think you cannot help but think about stereotypes or compare. It is so interesting when people tell me that I am not like other Americans. How so… I find it comical that we have a preconceived notion about someone – before they even open their mouths. And how often are those preconceived ideologies true. How are they formed? How are they broken… how are they reformed?

Sunday, September 21, 2008

FACADE

FAÇADE
So… I really took some time to think today. Me… alone… nothing but water, nature, and the elements above and around me. One thing that I truly love is the questioning of viewpoints. Ahh….the wonderful question of why. Why do we believe the way we do? How do our ideas become so subscribed that they show up continually and never change? Are we addicted to our beliefs much like our weekly TV shows and daily routines? Is it that we fear change or is it that immense a challenge to re-evaluate ourselves and our relationships?
One of my toughest Critics is Dr. Mary Maples. She is like a mother to me and is probably harder on me that anyone ever has been. She cuts to the point and lays it out – and sometimes it is literally enough to lay you out! She once told me that I needed to drop my façade – that I wasn’t as cool or as tough as I think I am. The way she said it crushed me – it bruised my ego – and god… did I hate her for this – but only for a moment. After I scurried away like a wounded animal – I went in my hole to die – or shall I say be reborn.
I am currently reading Alan Greenspan’s book – the Age of Turbulence – which lays out the economic history not only of America but that of the World and how the flattening effects of technology are changing the landscape forever. What can an Economist teach us about personal growth? Quite a bit actually… much like economies, people prosper and fail. Greenspan writes:
“The evidence suggests that rising incomes do raise happiness, but only up to a point in time. Beyond the point at which basic needs are met, happiness is a relative stat that, over the long run, is largely detached from e3conmic growth. The evidence shows it is determined mainly by how we view our lives and accomplishments relative to those of our peers. As prosperity spreads, or perhaps even as a result of its spread, many people fear competition and change that threaten their sense of status, which is critical to their self esteem. Happiness depends far more on how peoples incomes compare with those of their perceived peers, or even those of their role models, than on how they are doing in any absolute material sense”
How do we then measure success? Obviously those who are very successful in the working sense are greatly rewarded financially. The best sales people make the most. The best leader (theoretically) should by the president or CEO.
A couple of things….
I think:
The world is generally speaking – insecure. People depend on others – we need others to complete ourselves.
American culture is tied to success, ego, and image.

A couple of confessions:
Until the tumultuous downtown of our economy I identified too much with my success. Namely my monetary / investment success and my performance in the financial market at work.
I am full of shit. Yeah… I know a lot about a lot of things but I am not the expert. However – I am the pro of ‘fake it – till you make it’.
I try way too hard to impress people. My accomplishments are just that.. my accomplishments. The rest of the world does not need to know where I went to school, the type of car I drive, my GPA, or the stories of my success. They do, however, need to know that I am genuine, cultured, accepting, and a good person.

FACADE

FAÇADE
So… I really took some time to think today. Me… alone… nothing but water, nature, and the elements above and around me. One thing that I truly love is the questioning of viewpoints. Ahh….the wonderful question of why. Why do we believe the way we do? How do our ideas become so subscribed that they show up continually and never change? Are we addicted to our beliefs much like our weekly TV shows and daily routines? Is it that we fear change or is it that immense a challenge to re-evaluate ourselves and our relationships?
One of my toughest Critics is Dr. Mary Maples. She is like a mother to me and is probably harder on me that anyone ever has been. She cuts to the point and lays it out – and sometimes it is literally enough to lay you out! She once told me that I needed to drop my façade – that I wasn’t as cool or as tough as I think I am. The way she said it crushed me – it bruised my ego – and god… did I hate her for this – but only for a moment. After I scurried away like a wounded animal – I went in my hole to die – or shall I say be reborn.
I am currently reading Alan Greenspan’s book – the Age of Turbulence – which lays out the economic history not only of America but that of the World and how the flattening effects of technology are changing the landscape forever. What can an Economist teach us about personal growth? Quite a bit actually… much like economies, people prosper and fail. Greenspan writes:
“The evidence suggests that rising incomes do raise happiness, but only up to a point in time. Beyond the point at which basic needs are met, happiness is a relative stat that, over the long run, is largely detached from e3conmic growth. The evidence shows it is determined mainly by how we view our lives and accomplishments relative to those of our peers. As prosperity spreads, or perhaps even as a result of its spread, many people fear competition and change that threaten their sense of status, which is critical to their self esteem. Happiness depends far more on how peoples incomes compare with those of their perceived peers, or even those of their role models, than on how they are doing in any absolute material sense”
How do we then measure success? Obviously those who are very successful in the working sense are greatly rewarded financially. The best sales people make the most. The best leader (theoretically) should by the president or CEO.
A couple of things….
I think:
The world is generally speaking – insecure. People depend on others – we need others to complete ourselves.
American culture is tied to success, ego, and image.

A couple of confessions:
Until the tumultuous downtown of our economy I identified too much with my success. Namely my monetary / investment success and my performance in the financial market at work.
I am full of shit. Yeah… I know a lot about a lot of things but I am not the expert. However – I am the pro of ‘fake it – till you make it’.
I try way too hard to impress people. My accomplishments are just that.. my accomplishments. The rest of the world does not need to know where I went to school, the type of car I drive, my GPA, or the stories of my success. They do, however, need to know that I am genuine, cultured, accepting, and a good person.

NORWAY (DRAFT)

Norway
Cold, cloudy, and beautiful. Both the landscape and the people. Oslo reminds me of British Columbia / Vancouver in Canada. Super clean, very modern, diverse, and eco conscious. Oslo is actually a smaller city – only about 500,000 but there are many small towns around Oslo that make it one of Europe’s largest capitals. Things are crazy expensive here – try $10 for a Heineken!!! You only live once right – so drink away.
I have learned so much here – Oslo has the Parisian charm – quaint little café’s complete with red lights, awnings, and blankets. It is a city that is immensely focused on art, culture, theatre, and music. The Norwegian people however are quiet. They are not super outgoing and the only people I have really met here are all Spanish.
Things I have done in Norway….
Went to the Opera – the Opera House is a work of Art. It is perhaps one of the most amazing buildings I have ever seen! It certainly gives the Guggenheim in Bilbao, Spain a run for its money in terms of sleek lines, glass, and its surrounding environment. I saw an amazing Ballet – TORNERROSE in Norwegian. Not sure what it means in English but I think it was Sleeping Beauty. It is truly Amazing – the costumes were so impressive and the grace and passion of the dancers was mesmerizing and immeasurable.
Before that I spent 2 hours at the Nobel Peace prize museum. Norway is actually the country that lays fame to this infamous prize. The exhibit on display is something that I feel very passionate about. They had these small 8x8 cubicles set up. 4 walls and a TV screen on each wall. In the middle sits one small stool. Before you enter there is a placard telling you about a country – Indonesia, India, Venezuela, and Kenya. It tells you about the myriad problems the country has – poverty, aids, crime, etc… The screens come to life with vivid images of poverty, squalor, pollution, and the lives of the people who live there. Each side of your cubicle comes to life and then people in broken English tell you there story – and share their homes with you. Living in a shanty town – under a bridge, in a cardboard box… Working 18 hour days, constantly having to leave their home due to weather or government eviction and sharing the same space with up to 16 members of their family with no electricity, open sewers, and no running water.
Visiting this museum reminds me of why I travel – awareness. I think awareness is the biggest and best attribute we have as human beings. I also believe awareness is the most overlooked. So many people go to school for only the education necessary to get their job – they do not go to school for the reason of self exploration or to become a better citizen, friend, or partner. You can save a life as a doctor but can you truly realize what it is like to live? An engineer can construct anything yet can they effectively lay the foundation for understanding. My point – we as human beings were not born to work we were born to live. To love, to understand, to appreciate, to embrace the sun, wind, good and evil. I must have missed that class at the University.

Education often began long ago with travel, conversations, critical thought, and exploration. Epistemology and or pedagogy were something sacred and desired. Knowledge was also being cultured and versed in the ways of the world and the lay of the land. Looking back through history there has been many thoughts that now seem absurd. How many of our thoughts and beliefs remain unquestioned? Just because you read it, learned it from a $30, 000 a year university or an acclaimed professor
Me… Do I want to be a psychologist? Probably not – Do I want to understand behavior (mine and others), comprehend how others think, and hone in on the skills critical to effective listening and communication. Absolutely! Psychology is the study of how we get what we want in life – and the conduit of gratification is behavior. Some do it with words, others do it power. Some resort to manipulation.
I guess the verbosity is not my goal here – what is my goal to


ALONE
Companionship is something that one who is very secure with themselves should be able to live without. Being alone and in my head almost every waking moment of every day gives me lots of time to think. Thoughts such as how would I truly feel if I was all alone? W

VILNIUS, LITHUANIA (DRAFT)

VILNIUS
Lithuania is an interesting mix of what you think an emerging country might look like. Old, dark, crumbling soviet area block buildings paired with what the Lithuanian’s call ‘mini wall street’ – a modern sparkling group of glass towers in the distance.
I arrived her on Friday to a warm 8 degrees Celsius. Brrr… I have just been kind of winging it. Show up in the city, try to find a map, and then somehow get a bus or train. That backfired here… big time. English… what’s that? The older generation has not a clue.. the younger folks…. Pretty much all speak English quite well. At the end of the day, it was my Spanish that saved me. I met these 2 Lithuanian girls who spoke no English.. but perfect Spanish. They had both left Lithuania 7 years ago after high school and had been living in Spain. This is my 2nd interactions with Spaniards, and perhaps it is because I know and understand the culture… but they always seem to be so outgoing and helpful. After a bus ride and café con leche and a jug of sangria I found my hotel said goodbye to my Spanish friends and my adventure began.
Most of my days are spent wandering the streets – admiring architecture – people watching – and then a little nightlife. Being a lone all the time is quite a change. It is much more difficult than I thought. There is something that is intimate about a relationship. The touch, the feeling, the smell, the security.. and having no wifi and no cell phone has made it extremely difficult. But that is why I am here… to feel challenged and do what I have never done.
My first night in Lithuania was very cool. I ended up at a very nice restaurant – Bistro 18. It is ran by an Irish gal named Anne and her Lithuanian husband. She fell in love and moved from Dublin to Vilnius. I am eating alone as always – enjoying an excellent filet and glass of red Primativo Italian wine and I notice a French Laundry cookbook – we end up getting into a food and wine conversation and then I am invited to another table with another restaurateur and her friend… then boom…. 4 new friends. Margarita owns a bar down the way called BoBo (after her dog). So after another glass, then another glass, then another glass, we head to BoBo. We all had amazing conversation about the Iron Curtain, communism, Lenin, Marx , and the ways of Eastern Europe. Then we talked about American politics. After about 6 conversations… nobody likes Obama. Everyone wants McCain t win. They are scared of Obama… and they have all used that word – ‘scared’. I have heard myriad tales of propaganda – from Obama being a Muslim to him being black… to him being assassinated… The main news service here in Europe is the BBC and they do an excellent job – they are fair and report a balanced story so I think it is interesting that they are misinformed. Anyways after several more glasses of wine at BoBo we said our goodbyes and I head off to Pabo Latino – a latin bar down the street. Next thing I know I am overcome by mojitos and find myself in the kebab shop down the way at 4 am. Thank god I did not have my cell phone.. there would have been some WHOA… WHOA… drunk dialing!
Day 2 – very informative. I started my day at the old KGB headquarters. The KGB was basically the secret service of Russia and they left an immense amount of death and destruction in their wake. Until the Iron Curtain fell in 1991 many of the smaller countries (Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, Ukraine, etc…) were all part of the USSR (United Soviet Socialist Republic). Not by choice but by invasion from Moscow. During the second world war – Moscow came and never left. Basically many of the smaller countries were occupied and controlled from the early 1940’s to the early 1990’s. If you rose up against the government the KGB would come and get you. They tapped phones, used informers, and if they found you out… of to jail you went – they you were usually sentenced to a labor camp for 3 to 25 years of hard labor. Most … never came back. You cannot work… you die. That simple. Their torture chambers were very horrific. Imagine standing in a room with a small platform in the middle. The platform is raised 2 feet off the ground is 10 inches… just enough for your 2 feet… side by side. You step off the platform and you fall into ice cold water or boiling hot water. Then you have someone there to beat you and put you back on the platform again. Another room had padded walls, floors, and ceilings. A straight jacket hangs on the back wall. Then the execution chamber…thousands of people lost their lives here.
The day winds downs with another nice meal

Jack Daniels (DRAFT)

JACK DANIELS… YOU’RE NOT MY FRIEND

NO…really you’re not. Yesterday was what I thought was going to be a chill day – slept in from a debaucherous night at the Spy Bar (much smaller – and even more cool than the spy bar in Chicago). Did some sightseeing, hit the gym, took a sauna and then off I went to the annual beer and whiskey festival. Kind of like the brew ha ha in Reno, but bigger, with more beer, and quite a few drunk old Swedish men. You pay 180 Krowns to get in… then you have to pay 20 Krowns every time you try a beer or Whiskey. Yeah… you have a little single malt, wash that down with some German beer, then a little Jameson followed by a smooth Czech pilsner. Not a bad way to start the night. The strange thing is in Sweden it is against the law to give away alcohol so even though you pay an entry fee you still have to pay something for each drink. Gotta love taxes eh!
After the warm up (becoming a nightly ritual) I headed to the Absolute Ice Bar. This place is cool… literally! 180 Krowns gets you a nice big furry parka, some gloves, 1 drink, and entry into the freezer type bar. The temperature is a cool -2 C. And the entire bar…. Wait for it… is made of ice. Not just the countertop, but the bar, the walls, the well, the tables, the ceiling, and even your glass. They give you a 6x3 hollowed out chunk of ice and they pour the vodka directly into the ice. It was here I stumbled into my new friends. Akeat is my long lost Indian brotha from London. Originally from Kenya he moved to Northern India at a young age then to the UK. He is 28 and was celebrating his STAG (bachelor party) with 8 of his best mates. Akeat and his brother Haash explained to me all about India, the different regions, languages, cultures, religions, and the Indian wedding ceremony. Normally a 14 hour ordeal the groom is covered in a yellow spice from head to toe the day before the wedding. It is a cleansing ritual that purifies you. We also talked quite a bit about the Indian family and the deep division within India over the Hindu / Muslim divide. See… it is possible to mix drunkenness and culture…
The best part… I got the entire low down on India and I got the hookup when I arrive in Delhi and in Mumbai.
I was adopted as the token white boy and after several 100 proof vodka drinks we got some drunk food and then headed to Berns – a swanky bar in Central Stockholm. It was here that I ran into my other buddy.. Jack. Good old uncle Jack… god I hate you! As I scribe this lovely blog.. I am nursing a wicked hangover at the Stockholm airport. We were out till about 3 am – and then I retired to the sanctuary of my bed for a brief 2 hours of sleep and I had to be at the airport for my flight to Vilnius Lithuania at 8.


The DJ was spinning amazing music – great euro house vibe – beautiful people – very tough door and a small very intimate setting. Stockholm is a great city – excellent night life albeit ungodly expensive. A beer is usually about 650 Crowns – equivalent to about 8 or 9 USD. Now your Red Bull Vodka… that will run you about 110 Crowns or 14 USD. Scandinavia is interesting as you cannot by alcohol anywhere except small state owned shops… and even then… it is taxed very heavily., I also went to a

PHOTOS

Up and rolling...
Not all quite edited... but something for you to look at.


http://whereisnolando.smugmug.com/

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

St Andrews

The Home of golf. And I felt right at home. Have you ever dreamed of a place and then actually arrived and it was everything you expected and more? I have been forewarned about forming an opinion of something before I have been there - and with St Andrews I had amazingly high expectations. If I am going to pay $200 for a round of golf - it had better be quite the event. And that it was!

Unfortunately the old course was closed (members only tournament). I had amazing weather (sunshine, a few clouds and just a slight breeze). I showed up - the head pro and I chatted - and within 5 minutes i had clubs and was on the first tee. 1 hole - 1 par. Pretty good way to start the afternoon considering I spent the morning on an airplane after my emergency landing.

I walked the course and played alone - nothing but me, the course, and my 8 lost golf balls. The course was so beautiful and amazing I got emotional. It brings a tear to my eye to relive it in my blog. Sports and competition are something that I have always been very passionate about and I truly believe Golf is a sport in which it is you against nature. The undulations of the terrain, the wind, the rain, the sea, the natural obstacles that have become obsolete in our concrete jungle but lurk every day in natures natural environment. Golf is how I connect with nature and with myself. It is 4 hours in which I get to think - to appreciate my athleticism (or lack thereof) and nature.

There were 4 fighter jets in the sky over St Andrews - every so often they would zoom by - as if to say hello. Doing full 360 degree loops, barrel rolls, and other acrobat maneuvers. It was almost as if the raw engineering power of aviation was in competition with the simplicity of the Scottish landscape. The course was powerful and didn't even make a sound. St Andrews is flat, narrow, and not tricky. It is a very straightforward course. BUT..... you have to be deadly accurate. Perfect on every shot. Most of the fairways are 30-40 yards at their widest and sometimes you even share a green with an opposite hole coming back. Greens are small, true, and perfect. If your ball is off the fairway...good luck. Not only will you get to become friends with the sharp prickly plants but if your ball is in the weeds - forget about it. You will never find it.

I ended my day with a 94 - the victim of 8 lost balls.
I ended my round at the Inn - a small 12 table tavern on the 1st tee box of the old course. I had fish and chips and a pint of Scottish ale for dinner.

Then I snacked on a lost passport.

I had already set off to explore the city and take in the scenery of this little amazing coastal town. The town was dead. Hardly a soul in site. As I walked the coast I stared into the sea... wondering what I was going to do? Perhaps I was meant to stay here.... play golf at St Andrews and be bound to a life of golf, fish and chips, and pint after pint of ale. Honestly I was so high on life after that round of golf - I didn't even care. There was no reality - only beauty. The birds flying overhead - the light - the ocean crashing into the rugged rocky cliffs hundreds of feet below... nothing mattered. It was as if I had just lived a life long dream - done something that I had always wanted to do - made the pilgrimage - survived it - and now everything was going to be allright regardless of any consequence. As darkness fell - I returned to St Andrews to catch a cab back to the train station for the hour long ride back to Edinburgh.

As I approached the taxi stand - one of the golf professionals came out and said hello. When I told him about my passport - the head pro had taken it to the police station. They found it in the pro shop! I jumped in the St Andrews van and off we went to the Police Station - sure enough they had my passport !

Steve (the asst pro) then dropped me at the bus station and some old drunk Scottish man accosted me. What he was saying to me... no clue. Something about buses and hearing aids. Finally my bus came - I caught the last train back to Edinburgh and was in bed snuggled in with my Alan Greenspan book - just before midnight!

EDINBURGH

Edinburgh is in one word - Amazing. A small town of about 500,000 it is very mid evil. Complete with cobblestone streets, more churches than any god could ever want, and an amazing history. The Castle mounted atop the hill is reminiscent of the Alhambra in Granada, Spain. Lit up at night and tons of intricate details, it is quite the site and home to the crown jewels of Scotland.

The people in Edinburgh have been amazing. The Scottish are the nicest of Europeans - every one smiles, says hello, and is very helpful and polite. The weather was..... WAIT FOR IT.......Rainy. The Scottish landscape reminds me of Canada and the northwestern coast of the US - a bit rugged, rocky, surreal and very green. Cliffs fall into the ocean, bridges and rivers everywhere. The Castle in Edinburgh is actually built on a Volcano then a few miles away there is an amazing Plateau that raises 1000 m out of the middle of nowhere - that once served as the vent for that volcano. At its base stands a museum for how the world started and evolved.

When in Scotland - do as the Scots do. Drink Scotch. And that I did. I started my am with Scotch Whiskey tasting - 6 glasses to be exact. Well... one was complimentary - 2 were for being a good volunteer and then then other 4.... ok... ok.... I made some friends at the bar. It put me in just the right mood to do some exploring in the rain soaked Scotland.

The crazy thing about the Scottish... some actually talk like 'Fat Bastard' from Austin Powers. Sometimes they are speaking English and you have absolutely no idea what they are saying. The other true thing... people actually wear the whole Scottish dress on the street (kilt, beret, socks, and purse). No bagpipes yet... but I am still looking.

Emergency Landing

Yup... it was a true one. The fire brigade was waiting. I woke up at 4:30 am to catch my 6:30 am flight from Dublin to Edinburgh (say it in Scottish... Edinburrrrrrrrah). We took off, made several very abrupt right hand turns and 10 minutes later the captain comes on and says, "we are having some problems and will be landing in Dublin shortly). We hit the runway with a thump - and are immediately chased down the tarmac by 6 fire engines and myriad support vehicles. It turns out some birds were out for a lovely morning stroll and decided to make friends with our RyanAir flight. About an hour later amidst the blood and feathers - we were airborn again and arrived in Edinburgh.

DUBLIN

Is it true what they say about the Irish? Yes... they definitely drink. They drink a lot!!!

I arrived in Ireland Friday morning in my typical west coast get up - shorts and a T-Shirt. Even though I have traveled a ton - it is always nice to be the foreigner and Friday - I was. It was pouring rain and 45 mph winds. 2 umbrella's and a few flooded streets later I arrived in Temple Bar (downtown Dublin) soaked, cold, and wet! After emptying out my shoes and a new change of clothes I set off to Trinity College - right down the street. Home of the infamous Book of Kells. Basically it contains the 4 Gospels in the New Testament (in latin). Transcribed around 800 by Celtic Monks the entire book is made of vellum (calfskin). The pictures were amazing and the grounds of Trinity College and there is always something mesmerizing about walking the grounds of an institution that is more than 400 years old. Something romantic and invigorating about the literature and knowledge that has come and gone. It often makes me wonder just how original and independent our thoughts truly are. Can we really think of something that is truly original?

I then road the bus to the Guiness Storehouse... and yes... I had my first Guiness. People have always said it tastes different in Ireland - perhaps it is a bit lighter - but lighter or not - it is still a meal and I pretty much lived on it the rest of my time in Dublin. Guiness is everywhere - in fact they have stainless steel tankers that deliver it by the gallons! The Churches are amazing but more than any of the sights in Dublin - I have to speak about the people and the atmosphere.

The Irish - they drink. And they drink a lot! From Friday to Sunday there was never an absence of bodies, music, or people flooding out of the pubs. Except for maybe 9 am when I awoke from a wicked night of 16 beers. I saw traditional Irish dancing and singing - barely understood a word of it - but the rhythm of guitars, fiddles, and accordians rocked my world and left me with a never ending smile. I saw a football match - some rugby - and watched a Championship Hurling game (kind of a cross between lacross and rugby) all from the intimacy of my local pub. I made friends (an old Irishman named Nolan - no joke) and we drank, drank, and drank some more! Pretty much... I drank and ate Kababs and rode the tour bus from 11-5.

I also visited the Jameson Irish Whiskey distillery. Being the good sport that I was - I volunteered. And received an honorary Whiskey tasting diploma. That is right - Nolando is an expert and certified. I never really new the secret to Whiskey nor was I a huge fan of Jameson but the stuff is pretty darn good. Being distilled 3 times over probably helps - Jack Daniels is distilled only once. They even had an entire collection of Premium Whiskey 1984-Present on sale for 50,000 EUROS.

Europe - oh how I have missed you. It is great to be back!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Preamble

Everyone does something for a reason. Sometimes the reason is not transparent but rather something that comes to you over time. Much like the prairies need rain to flourish I need travel to grow, prosper, and be harvested. Life is an interesting game and one that can never fully be prepared for. However, it can still be played very well with the right tools. An open mind, a sense for adventure, and a Carpe' Diem attitude certainly help. As do awareness, passion, and an epistemological quest for how the world comes together.

Have you ever just wanted to say "FUCK IT"? Did you do it? Would you leave everything behind that you worked your entire life to get? Could you survive without your car, house, partner, and social network? Do you question your values and your belief system? Your identity? Why do you believe the way you do? How do you challenge yourself? How do you grow? Are you really that happy and that content?

I think we live in a dichotomous world where we say one thing and mean another. Do one thing and get another. I think everyone has a facade - a beautiful storefront painted just right. It is my aim to lose the facade. Be more genuine, aware, and unassuming and accepting. My life is a masterpiece, a grand work that will never quite be finished. Something full of creativity, color, expression, and experience.

As I began my journey I flew over the chalky white playa at Burning Man - my eyes scanning the horizon and taking in the stark desolate beauty that only the Nevada desert can bring. I asked myself... why do you go to Burning Man? What do you get out of it? The answer is nothing. I leave there covered in dust, tired, and in need of a new liver and brain. I get nothing but I take away everything. A melting pot of conversations, emotions, and spituality that can be found in very few places. There is a difference between getting and taking. I have been getting all my life (cars, houses, degrees, jobs). It is now time to take the things that I have been wanting and needing for a long time and take away the material things that are not really important.

Let the journey begin!